Friday, December 19, 2008

Oh, Edward.

Now that I have read Twilight,
I have unrealistic expectations of men.

I finally finished it. I didn’t read it in two days like everyone else did. I simply kept it at work so I had something to do and read it when I had time. There were parts I wanted to vomit, but I will admit it was pretty good. I will read the rest of the books so I know what happens…well our waiter at IHOP told us what happens after we went and saw the movie,
he was a huge fan.

So, in the end, I didn’t hate it, but I’m not obsessing about it.
It’s a book.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

A Day In History.

Today is a very important day...
Today my Peanut's adoption was finalized.

Aren't they the cutest family ev-er?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


No, I'm not mistaken. That is a 6 that I typed.
Max REALLY IS 6 months old today!
Can you believe it??
I can't.
Where did time go?
The adoption is going to be legalized in a few days...
You know what that means??
Max is getting to be blessed and sealed
to Jared and Amanda
for time and all eternity!
Look at those happy eyes and that happy smile...
It sure is a contagious smile.
You can't help but grin ear to ear when you look this handsome boy!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Those Cheekies!!!

I just want to kiss and squeeze those cheekies!!
Just 3 more days and this cutie patootie is going to be
I love my Max.
(I stole this picture off of Amanda, Lori and Erin's, Look Pretty. Run Nasty. Blog ...Thanks!!)

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I'm in love...

....with my new shampoo and conditioner that is! hee hee Aly
introduced me to this brand called Pureology.
It's a must have! My hair has never been silkier!!!

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Blogging Funk

Have you ever been in a funk?
Lately, I've been in a blogging funk.
I'm either working(--which they took personal internet priviledges away),
at school,
doing homework,
or just plain out being lazy.
I will get back to posting. I will post my Hee Haw pictures, my opinions on Twilight and the pictures of all the cereal we bought at Smiths Market--It was on SALE, but I will post it sooner or later. Just not tonight. I like blogging. I do. I want this funk to go away.
Tomorrow is December 1, 2008.
Where did the year go?
Thanksgiving came and went.
Do you remember when it was 1999 and 2000 was around the corner?
We thought (I did) the world was coming to an end?
We thought (I did) caos was going to happen?
Well, look where we are in 2008...almost 2009.
I never posted anything on Thanksgiving
of things I was thankful for!
  • Jesus Christ - I am grateful to be blessed with him in my life.
  • My family - They are the glue that keeps me together.
  • Max - He is the bright spot in my life! I love him so much!
  • Jared and Amanda - For giving Max the life he deserves.
  • Ryan - You're thinking, "What the?" He is the #1 person I dislike the most but without him, Max would not be here.
  • Pictures - They're priceless!

Well, That was my short little blog for tonight.
Stay tuned to a blog near you!

Monday, November 10, 2008

Happy 5 Months Max!!!

*SIGH* I love him.
What a 5 months it has been! Max has been such a champ
through everything! ...the NAM...his surgery...recovery....
Jared and Amanda have been truly amazing. I am sooo
very grateful for them!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

They make us stronger

We all have trials. They shape us into who we are. They help build our testimony of Christ. As I sat there Sunday afternoon listening to conference, this talk really stood out to me.

(the one below ;) )

i heart this talk

"Hope Ya Know, We Had a Hard Time"

Elder Quentin L. Cook
Of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles

We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development.
Last winter my daughter had a white-knuckle experience driving in a severe snowstorm. She reminded me of a similar situation I had with my two sons many years ago. My youngest son, Joe, was three years old, and my son Larry was six. We were traveling by car from San Francisco to Utah in June. The weather had been very good.
As we started our ascent to the Donner Pass summit in the Sierra Nevada Mountains, suddenly and without warning an enormous snowstorm hit us. None of the drivers was prepared. A semitruck in front of us had jackknifed and was spread across two lanes. Other trucks and cars had slid off the freeway. One lane was open, and many vehicles, including ours, were desperately trying to gain traction to avoid the other vehicles. All traffic then came to a halt.
We were not prepared for this blizzard in June. We had no warm clothing, and our fuel was relatively low. I huddled with the two boys in an effort to keep us warm. After many hours, safety vehicles, snowplows, and tow trucks began to clear up the massive logjam of vehicles.
Eventually, a tow truck hauled us to a service station on the other side of the pass. I called my wife, knowing she would be worried because she had expected a call the prior evening. She asked if she could speak to the two boys. When it was the three-year-old’s turn, with a quivering voice, he said, “Hope ya know, we had a hard time!”
I could tell, as our three-year-old talked to his mother and told her of the hard time, he gained comfort and then reassurance. Our prayers are that way when we go to our Father in Heaven. We know He cares for us in our time of need.
Each of Us Will Face Trials and Hardships in This Life
The incident I just recounted, while a difficult travel situation, was brief, and there were no lasting consequences. However, many of the trials and hardships we encounter in life are severe and appear to have lasting consequences. Each of us will experience some of these during the vicissitudes of life. Many listening to this conference are experiencing situations of a most serious nature at this very moment.
We resonate with the Prophet Joseph’s petition after he had been falsely accused and imprisoned in Liberty Jail for months: “O God, where art thou? And where is the pavilion that covereth thy hiding place?”
The Lord’s answer is reassuring:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment;
“And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high.”1
One of the essential doctrines illuminated by the Restoration is that there must be opposition in all things for righteousness to be brought to pass.2 This life is not always easy, nor was it meant to be; it is a time of testing and proving. As we read in Abraham, “And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.”3 Elder Harold B. Lee taught, “Sometimes the things that are best for us and the things that bring eternal rewards seem at the moment to be the most bitter, and the things forbidden are ofttimes the things which seem to be the more desirable.”4
The novel A Tale of Two Cities opens with the oft-quoted line “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”5 The scriptures make it clear that each generation has its own version of best and worst of times. We are all subject to the conflict between good and evil6 and the contrast between light and dark, hope and despair. As Elder Neal A. Maxwell explained, “The sharp, side-by-side contrast of the sweet and the bitter is essential until the very end of this brief, mortal experience.”7 We know from our doctrine that good will overcome evil,8 and those who repent and are sanctified shall be given eternal life.9
Near the time Dickens was writing his novel, the heroic efforts of the early Saints who settled the Intermountain West were occurring.
Even with their common faith, the Saints had experienced much hardship and approached the evacuation of Nauvoo with very different expectations. Some looked forward with optimism, others with concern. Two excellent examples are presented by Helen Mar Whitney and Bathsheba Smith. Both have left compelling records of their feelings.
Sister Whitney recorded her expectations upon leaving Nauvoo: “I will pack away all my little ribbons, collars and laces, etc., for we are going where we cannot purchase them. We are going out from the world to live beyond the Rocky Mountains where none others will wish to go. There will be neither rich nor poor among us, and we will have none but the honest and virtuous.”10 Sister Whitney’s words resonate with an idealistic optimism.
Sister Bathsheba Smith’s recorded feelings are also full of faith but evidence some trepidation. She had seen the mobs arrayed against the Saints in Missouri and was present at the death of the Apostle David W. Patten.
Recalling the evacuation of Nauvoo, she wrote: “My last act in that precious spot was to tidy the rooms, sweep up the floor and set the broom in its accustomed place behind the door. Then with emotions in my heart I gently closed the door and faced an unknown future, faced it with faith in God and with no less assurance of the ultimate establishment of the Gospel in the West and of its true enduring principles, than I had felt in those trying scenes in Missouri.”11
Both of these LDS pioneer women remained strong in the gospel throughout their lives and provided wonderful service in building Zion, but they faced many additional trials and hardships, which they both faithfully endured.12 Despite Sister Whitney’s optimism, her first three children died at or near birth—two of them during her extended exodus from Nauvoo to Salt Lake.13 Sister Whitney has blessed us with her writings in defense of our faith and was the mother of the Apostle Orson F. Whitney.
Sister Smith recorded the poverty, sickness, and privation that the Saints suffered as they made their way west.14 In March of 1847 her mother passed away, and the next month her second son, John, was born. Her record of that is brief: “He was my last child, and [he] lived only four hours.”15 Later in her life she was the matron of the Salt Lake Temple and the fourth general president of the Relief Society.
We are deeply touched by the hardships that the early Saints endured. Brigham Young captured this somewhat humorously in February 1856 when he stated: “I might say something with regard to the hard times. You know that I have told you that if any one was afraid of starving to death, let him leave, and go where there is plenty. I do not apprehend the least danger of starving, for until we eat up the last mule, from the tip of the ear to the end of the fly whipper, I am not afraid of starving to death.”
He went on to say, “There are many people who cannot now get employment, but the spring is going to open upon us soon, and we are not going to suffer any more than what is for our good.”16
The challenges we face today are in their own way comparable to challenges of the past. The recent economic crisis has caused significant concern throughout the world. Employment and financial problems are not unusual. Many people have physical and mental health challenges. Others deal with marital problems or wayward children. Some have lost loved ones. Addictions and inappropriate or harmful propensities cause heartache. Whatever the source of the trials, they cause significant pain and suffering for individuals and those who love them.
We know from the scriptures that some trials are for our good and are suited for our own personal development.17 We also know that the rain falls on the just and the unjust.18 It is also true that every cloud we see doesn’t result in rain. Regardless of the challenges, trials, and hardships we endure, the reassuring doctrine of the Atonement wrought by Jesus Christ includes Alma’s teaching that the Savior would take upon Him our infirmities and “succor his people according to their infirmities.”19
The scriptures and modern prophets have made it clear that there will be lean years and plentiful years.20 The Lord expects us to be prepared for many of the challenges that come. He proclaims, “If ye are prepared ye shall not fear.”21 Part of the trauma I experienced crossing the Sierras in that blizzard many years ago occurred because I was not prepared for this sudden, unexpected event. One of the great blessings of the scriptures is that they warn us of challenges that are unexpected but often occur. We would do well to be prepared for them. One form of preparation is to keep the commandments.
In numerous places in the Book of Mormon, the people were promised that they would prosper in the land if they would keep the commandments.22 This promise is often accompanied by the warning that if they do not keep the commandments of God, they shall be cut off from His presence.23 Clearly, having the blessings of the Spirit—the ministration of the Holy Ghost—is an essential element to truly prosper in the land and to be prepared.
Regardless of our trials, with the abundance we have today, we would be ungrateful if we did not appreciate our blessings. Despite the obvious nature of the hardships the pioneers were experiencing, President Brigham Young talked about the significance of gratitude. He stated, “I do not know of any, excepting the unpardonable sin, that is greater than the sin of ingratitude.”24
Gratitude for the Savior and His Atonement
Our foremost gratitude should be for the Savior and His Atonement. We are aware that many who are listening to this conference are experiencing trials and hardships of such intensity that the underlying feeling in their hearts as they approach our Father in Heaven in prayer is “Hope ya know, I’m having a hard time.”
Let me share with you the true account of one sister, Ellen Yates from Grantsville, Utah. Early in October, 10 years ago, she kissed her husband, Leon, good-bye as he left to go to work in Salt Lake City. This would be the last time she would see Leon alive. He had a collision with a young man 20 years of age who was late for his first job and had tried to pass a slower vehicle, resulting in a head-on collision that killed them both instantly. Sister Yates said that after two compassionate highway patrolmen told her the news, she plunged into shock and grief.
She records, “As I tried to look ahead in life, all I could see was darkness and pain.” It turned out that her husband’s best friend was the bishop of the young man’s ward. The bishop called Sister Yates and told her that the young man’s mother, Jolayne Willmore, wanted to talk with her. She remembers “being shocked because I was so centered on my grief and pain that I had not even thought about the young man and his family. I suddenly realized that here was a mother who was in as much or more pain than I was. I quickly gave my permission . . . for a visit.”
When Brother and Sister Willmore arrived, they expressed their great sorrow that their son was responsible for Leon’s death and presented her with a picture of the Savior holding a little girl in His arms. Sister Yates says, “When times become too hard to bear, I look at this picture and remember that Christ knows me personally. He knows my loneliness and my trials.” One scripture that comforts Sister Yates is “Wherefore, be of good cheer, and do not fear, for I the Lord am with you, and will stand by you.”25
Each October Sister Yates and Sister Willmore (both of whom are here together in the Conference Center today) go to the temple together and offer thanks for the Atonement of Jesus Christ, for the plan of salvation, for eternal families, and for the covenants that bind together husbands and wives and families on both sides of the veil. Sister Yates concludes, “Through this trial, I have felt the love of my Father in Heaven and my Savior in greater abundance than I had ever felt before.” She testifies that “there is no grief, no pain, no sickness so great that the Atonement of Christ and the love of Christ cannot heal.”26 What a wonderful example of love and forgiveness these two sisters have demonstrated. It has allowed the Atonement of Jesus Christ to be efficacious in their lives.
Think of the Savior in the Garden of Gethsemane during the Atonement process, suffering agony so great that He bled from every pore.27 His cry to His Father included the word Abba.28 This might be interpreted as the cry of a son who is in distress to his father: “O my Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me: nevertheless not as I will, but as thou wilt.”29 I testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers all of the trials and hardships that any of us will encounter in this life. At times when we may feel to say, “Hope you know, I had a hard time,” we can be assured that He is there and we are safe in His loving arms.
When our beloved prophet, President Thomas S. Monson, was asked on his birthday this past August what would be the ideal gift that members worldwide could give him, he said without a moment’s hesitation, “Find someone who is having a hard time, . . . and do something for them.”30
I, with you, am eternally grateful to Jesus Christ, the rescuer of mankind. I bear witness that He is the Savior and Redeemer of the world. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Just blame it on the truth.

I have a cousin that is gay, a friend that is a lesbian and placed a baby for adoption. What does all this have in common? Prop 8... I'll get to my point in just a moment. I've hesitated for sometime about posting on Prop 8. Since having Max and learning all the facts about adoption, I'm really stuck between a rock and a hard spot. I love my cousin and friend dearly and know for a fact that the homosexual tendencies started from the time they were in preschool, it is not something they woke up one morning and decided to go against the grain. I do believe that it is a choice they make and do or do not choose to act upon.
Since adoption has entered my life, I have learned so much. Am I grateful Proposition 8 passed? YES. If it did not pass, LDS Family Services would have to adopt to homosexual couples, which they would not do and they would have to close their services in California and people in California would not be able to adopt through LDS Family Services. (I hope I got that right...Mrs. R explains it soo well here) On the news last night, surrounding the LA LDS Temple, there were protestors. I don't understand where they think throwing tantrums, stopping traffic, upsetting people trying to get to work is going to get them?
I was reading a thread on facebook. It broke my heart. I had to just shut my computer and stop reading the profanities against the church. This person, a former strong member of the church, now slamming it with all their friends because Prop 8 didn't pass. They have to blame it on something, why not the truth.
Being that it is November and November is National Adoption Month, it makes me squeel with great joy that Prop 8 passed. It does have a lot to do with adoption. Children need an eternal family that they can return to their Heavenly Father with. They need a mother and a father to do that. Marriage between a man and woman is sacred. Thank you California voters who said YES to Prop 8!
I will end there, Obama is another post. Oh.boy. History? Yep. The Second Coming kind of history.
No, I'm just kidding... I think he'll do OK. Let us just live each day at a time!

Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!!!

THEE cutest polar bear EV-ER.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Chocolate Truffle Cheesecake

I got this recipe off the Kraft website
...for all you chocolate and cheesecake lovers, this is d.vine!
I urge to you try it out.
18 OREO Cookies, finely crushed (about 1-1/2 cups crumbs)
2 Tbsp. butter or margarine, melted
3 pkg. (8 oz. each) PHILADELPHIA Cream Cheese, softened
1 can (14 oz.) sweetened condensed milk
2 tsp. vanilla
1 pkg. (12 oz.) BAKER'S Semi-Sweet Chocolate Chunks, melted, slightly cooled
1/4 cup coffee-flavored liqueur (optional)
4 eggs
PREHEAT oven to 300°F if using silver 9-inch springform pan (or to 275°F if using dark nonstick 9-inch springform pan). Mix cookie crumbs and butter; press firmly onto bottom of pan. Set aside.
BEAT cream cheese, sweetened condensed milk and vanilla in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until well blended. Add chocolate; mix well. Add eggs, one at a time, mixing on low speed after each addition just until blended. Pour over crust.
BAKE 1 hour 5 min. to 1 hour 10 min. or until center is almost set. Run knife or metal spatula around rim of pan to loosen cake; cool before removing rim of pan. Refrigerate at least 4 hours or overnight. Store leftover cheesecake in refrigerator.
Garnish with Rasberries
***I read the reviews and people were saying that the crust with 18 oreos was too I put 22 oreos. I also used Ghiradelli Chocolate Chips instead; it probably didn't make a difference, but I'm a fan...Plus, they were cheaper.
***I also read you could use Low Fat or Fat Free Sweetened Condensed Milk and Cream Cheese and it still tastes great!

A Good Man

A good man is hard to find.
“Never make a man your priority when you are nothing more than his option.”
I live by that quote.
For the last two and a half years I have been looked upon as the option.
I no longer accept that.
If his “buddies” are more important, or he wants to “hang out” after he is done with his plans for the night—and I’m the one going to his place, or for a date he doesn’t come pick you up…I have to get that obviously, there is something wrong and I’m the option in this picture. I was so blinded to all this for TWO years.
TWO YEARS friends.
I’m just now seeing the picture.
I look at the amazing men my sisters are married to and see what great guys they are.
I hope to someday find one like them.
I am so happy for my Jill Pill. She has definitely found an amazing man that she deserves and is so happy in love! I am so proud of her and the changes she has made!

Excuses, Excuses

How much longer can I use the excuse
I just had a baby”??
…oh, um, uh, almost 5 months ago!
I know.
It’s been almost 5 months and I still am fat… and losing my hair.
I think it’s time to stop the procrastination and get using the gym pass I renewed and start eating some JELL-O—not only will it help my hair grow, but make my nails stronger too.
This is how I feel...
Have you ever seen dough rising and all of a sudden if falls and the dough is ruined?
Well, that is what my beautiful stomach looks like.
A fallen dough road map.
Well, not. for. long.
My goal?
Lose 20 pounds…by Christmas—well, let’s say the New Year; that gives me 6 more days.
I will keep you updated.
My work is doing a weight loss trial with their nutritional products for one month.
I am going to kick this weight in the boo-tay!!!

Friday, October 24, 2008

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

I couldn't believe my eyes...

$2.99 friends.
Maverik had gas this morning for $2.99.
Woot Woot!!

Stints No More...

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about him.
He makes me smile from ear to ear.
He warms my heart.
He is truly the one bright spot in my life.
His beautiful eyes send me into a trance.
He is the miracle in my life that I am eternally grateful for.
He is the love of my life.
He is my Max.
Max had his nasal stints removed yesterday and now officially has nothing on his face but drool!!! YAY!!!
How handsome is this boy??
Oh, boy...
THEE most handsomest, stinkinest, cutest boy EV-ER!!!
I love him.
I was reading Mrs. R's blog yesterday. She spoke of another blog of a mother who asked her daughter what adoption meant to her. I don't want to slaughter a wonderful story, so go here to read it. I recommend you do, it will make your day! Children are amazing.
I know Adoption means Jesus loves ME because he blessed me with Jared and Amanda.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

My Baby Babers Post Surgery and 4 months!

His lip looks uh-mazing.
It looks fabulous.
Here he is....My Peanut.
How could you ever in your life resist that smile?? I hear he is a constant DROOL MACHINE. hee hee I love him.

Oh, those baby blues... He's gonna be a heartbreaker, I tell ya.

His new facsination? His tongue. hee hee
I love the drip of drool on his chin.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

The Inferno

I’m tired of being the pee on.
Tired of being talked down to.
Tired of being ignored.
I know the workplace isn’t always the peachiest place to escape to, but it shouldn’t be a place of discrimination, low morale and no ethic. The way some people have been treated is uncalled for. Gossip and back biting is always going to be in the work place; you can’t hide from it...I know that.
My guff is—you don’t have “enough experience” to move up in the company. How am I supposed to get the “experience” if you don’t give it to me?? Train me. Help me. Let me learn. I know plenty of people in our company who don’t have college experience and are in high positions, but you want “ME” to have college experience for a position??
My time is not occupied enough to keep me busy. They take away my only way to communicate to the other office…and why?
They don’t bother to tell me why.
They put a new inter-office messenger system on our computer system; then take it off.
I don’t know.
Was I abusing it?
I see discrimination.
Why just the front desk and the call center?
Why not treat everyone with equality; or set them aside and tell them WHY?
I have no understanding to why they did what they did.
I am a little irritated.
Fed up.
I use to love coming to work every day. I have gotten my first ever migraine. My anxiety has shot through the roof. I come home angry and bitter. This is all so frustrating.

I. need. a. vacation.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

The Story of My Max

I know I am a couple days behind.

On October 5, 2007, I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. Who to tell. Where to go. This news wasn’t any news a single girl wants to find out. My first thought was—‘How am I going to do this alone?’ I was overwhelmed with thoughts. I told my mom right away. I couldn’t keep it from her, I needed help, and I needed advice. Her advice was adoption. The first thought of adoption, I was scared. We got talking about it and it made more sense financially, the future of the baby, and the importance of having both a mom and a dad
. So, I started on my own looking at profiles on LDS Family Services. That was a bit overwhelming. I had no idea what I was doing. I was only 5 weeks pregnant; I hadn’t contacted LDS Family Services yet. I didn’t know that I was choosing a couple REALLY early in my pregnancy, I thought that was normal.
As I was looking at all the profiles, they all seemed like normal people I would love to place my baby with…Some more than others.

How was I supposed to chose?

I prayed for help. I prayed for comfort. That is when I saw the profile that changed my life. I was curious when I saw ‘Jared and Amanda E54’ (That will make more sense later). It didn’t have blinking and scrolling text. Their pictures weren’t interchanging. It was the only profile with a letter and number next to their name.

I clicked on it.

Their profile was simple and fun to read. Their pictures showed they loved each other very much. They both had steady jobs. I can’t tell you how many times I revisited their profile that day and from there on out.
That next day, October 6, 2007, I sent them an email telling them I was pregnant. I emailed them through the LDS Family Services website and little did I know I just left them my mailing address, not my email address. When I didn’t get a reply in my email, I was thinking they weren’t interested or another birthmother had contacted them already.

I was so eager.

My brother, Kenyon worked with a guy who he and his wife were looking to adopt again. He told me his name, so I looked them up and emailed them…I gave my email out on this one and got an email right back. I had told them that I was pregnant, but wanted a closed adoption. We emailed back and forth for a few days and then I realized how hard that would be for me (at the time) that this guy works with Kenyon and this woman takes her kids into the
pediatrician where Holly works. They would see my baby. I didn’t think I could handle that. Things fell into place and that is when I got a letter in the mail from Jared and Amanda. I couldn’t believe I didn’t give them my email! As soon as I got that letter, I rushed to my computer and quickly emailed them.

Since that letter, we emailed each other about every week. I knew I wanted them to be my baby’s parents. Throughout my pregnancy, I had thoughts that I wanted to keep my baby, but then the thoughts would turn right around and I knew I couldn’t. I made a promise to myself and to Jared and Amanda, that I was having this baby for them. I knew that they had been let down by a birthmother before and I could not do that to them. I wanted to put them on a firm hold, but because I wasn’t far enough along (about 13 weeks) they could only put them on a soft hold. So, for Christmas I gave them a photo album that has a 5x5 slot in the front and put Max’s first ultra sound picture in it and gave that to them and in a card told them I would love for them to be my baby’s parents. They kind of already knew that I had chosen them. ;)

We had our first face to face in the first part of January 2008. They asked me how I decided to choose them out of all the profiles. So, I told them about the ‘Jared and Amanda E54’. It didn’t sound very impressive like the stories some girls have…but it was mine. We didn’t know what the ‘E54’ meant; their casework explained that it is because they are located up in the Farmington Agency. We thought it was interesting and then continued on in conversation. (There IS more significance to the E54…you just gotta keep reading)
At 20 weeks I went in to see the perinatologist. The ultra sound tech was doing the ultra sound checking everything before the doctor came in, taking measurements, etc. That is when she discovered Max had a cleft lip. I was by myself, so I didn’t know how to react. I was afraid, I felt alone, at fault. I called my mom hysterically crying, not knowing what to do. She came over and met me and we talked. My first thoughts when I found this out, I just wanted to take care of my baby. I wanted to hold him, love him, and take care of him. I didn’t how to tell Jared and Amanda about the cleft lip and how they would take it. I called Lauren, my caseworker through LDS Family Services. She then called their caseworker to tell them. I received an email from them the next day telling me that they have felt a sweet spirit throughout my pregnancy and still feel the same sweet spirit.

My next appointment with Lauren (My case worker with LDS Family Services) went really well. After finding out that my baby had a cleft lip, she discovered that the Farmington Agency works the most with clefts and has a lot of resources. Going back to ‘Jared and Amanda E54’.

Maybe my story is pretty amazing after all?

The Lord sometimes works in mysterious ways.
He led me to this wonderful couple.
The Lord had already chosen them to be Max’s parents...I just had to find them.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Max's Surgery

Max had his surgery!! On September 26, 2008, Dr. Siddiqi repaired Max's cleft lip up at Primary Children's Hospital. You can go to Jared and Amanda's blog that goes into a little more detail. :)

I think I see a smile coming on!! He's such a tough boy! Look how good and quick he's healing up!!

A day to remember

Yes. I have slacked off a little bit. Ok, a lot. Where HAS the time gone? Here are the pictures, thee ADORABLE pictures of thee most handsome boy EV-ER.
How do I even begin to describe this day?
Well, first of all, it was long ago on September 14, 2008. We had this planned for weeks for Jared, Amanda and Max to come down for Sunday dinner before Max had his surgery (Another post, coming soon to a blog near you ;) ). I was counting down, anticipating that night, super excited. It was a great night. It was a fabulous night. It was an uh-mazing night. Jared and Amanda came to my house first and then we drove to Teressa's for dinner. We sat in my living room for a minute to hold Max and have him to ourselves. I could not believe how much he had grown in the month that I saw him last. He was full of smiles and giggles.
I have never seen a happier baby!
Especially at that age, giggly and smiley as he is---it is way too cute!

I loved holding him. I loved feeding him. I loved kissing him. I loved watching him sleep. I loved looking at him and staring into his beautiful blue eyes.
I did share.....after awhile.

The babes, 3 months apart. She kept wanting to grab him, he just wanted to suck his fist.

This is what happens when you enter the Virchow's, baby boys get dressed up as girls. By the look on his face, I don't think he appreciated it much---neither did Jared. hee hee
When Drake was a baby, he was such a beautiful baby, Emily put a dress and headband on him and he looked just like a little girl! Sorry boys, that's what you get for being so beautiful.

He doesn't like to be held like if you can tell. When he's laying on the ground, he'll literally lift his head up off the ground...
talk about a strong boy!

I love him! He's such a cutie patootie!

I really love this picture.

Yeah, I know, my mom can't keep her eyes open in ANY picture...
it's still a cute picture.

Aww, they're so cute. I love them.

This was the funniest part of the night. Amanda layed Max down to change his diaper. When she was finished, me, Teressa and Aly went over and started playing with him. Emily was taking pictures of the whole event. Holy cow. Teressa had him giggling so hard, my cheeks hurt so bad afterwards from laughing and smiling!

Aly and Teressa...They shared sometimes too.

Hadley Mae and Max

Willow and Max. She was at girls came when he was born, so this was her first time seeing him--and her birthday!

I love this picture, it's so precious!!

Saying our goodbyes. Talan gave good kisses...
he was about to eat Max.

That was a great night. I am so grateful to have Jared and Amanda in my life. I have tried to explain it to them, and I don't know if it made sense at all to them, but I'll try to say it now. I am so grateful to be a member of The Church and know the truth. The Lord has truly blessed me and lifted the weight off my shoulders. The Lord has helped me so that when I see him, it's not hard, when I have to say goodbye, it's not hard. My love for Max is truly unconditional and he holds a special place in my heart and always will. I am so grateful that I have chosen an open adoption. When I was going through the adoption process, I was very hesitant on the openess. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Max is the best thing that has happen to me and I'm so very grateful he is with Jared and Amanda.

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Stay Tuned To A Blog Near You...

That's, pictures and more pictures coming soon! YOU are in for a treat!

Friday, September 12, 2008

i LOVE it

I couldn't stand to not post these pictures on my blog.

I had to steal them off of Jared and Amanda's blog.
Is he not the cutest thing you have ever seen??? Sitting there all grown up in his bumbo, you just want to squeeze him and kiss him!!!

*Images courtesy of Amanda hee hee

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A to Z

A= Attached or Single: What exactly does that mean? Are they referring to my relationship status??? S-s-single, I dislike that word...for all the handsome men out there reading my blog. If men do that.
B= Best Friend: My Mother
C= Cake or Pie: My Mom's homemade pies
D= Day of Choice: The wonderful shopping day, Saturday
E= Essential Item: My Cell Phone, baby!
F= Flavor of Icecream: Cheap Chocolate
G= Gummy Bears or Worms: Not a fan of either, but I'd say gummy worms.
H= Hometown: Mapleton, Utah
I= Indulgence: Chocolate...oh, chocolate.
J= January or July: Duh, when there is NO SNOW, JULY!
K= Kids: I am the birthmother to the wonderful MAX! Someday I would like to have kids :)
L= Last movie I saw at a theater: "I think I dropped some money by this manhole..." hee hee The House Bunny... I came out of that movie feeling really smart!
M= Musician: John Wozniak
N= Number of Siblings: 5 uh-mazing sisters and 2 wonderful brothers
O= Oranges or Apples: I go through stages. When Oranges are in season, I love Oranges. Once and awhile I like a good crisp Fuji apple!
P= Phobias or Fears: I have more fears than phobias--spiders, snails--those are more a hatred, but I do have fears! Like, I fear that I won't ever marry or ever have children.
Q= Quote: "Everywhere in nature we are taught the lessons of patience and waiting. We want things a long time before we get them, and the fact that we want them a long time makes them all the more precious when they come." -Joseph Smith
R= Reason to Smile: Max :)
S= Season: Spring, I love the flowers. Fall, I love the changing leaves. Utah does have it's upsides :)
T= Tag: Anyone!
U= Unknown fact: I love McDonald hamburgers, even though I always tell my nieces and nephews that it's monkey meat.
V= vegetarian or oppressor of Animals: I could never be a vegetarian. I love my meat. Give me a steak!
W= Worst habit: I say "I'm sorry" too much, when really it's not needed.
X= X-ray or Ultrasound: I don't know what this is asking...but I've had more ultrasounds than x-rays.
Y= Your favorite food: I don't really have a favorite food, I have LOTS of favorite foods...Avocados, Steak, Chicken, Edamame, Cheese, Chocolate, and the list could go on!
Z= Zodiac sign: Libra, which is totally me

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

You are seeing this correctly....

That is right my friends. You can stop hyperventilating and finish reading. These yummy goodies come in dark chocolate now, oh my!

Monday, September 8, 2008

The Death Trap

What is exactly "The Death Trap"??
Sounds scary, huh?

I truly wish I had a picture.

He leaves for work the exact same time in the morning as me.
He takes the exact same roads.
He works in the exact same direction heading to Salem.
If I hadn't ever seen this vehicle I would imagine a fast, hot little sports car, speeding in and out of traffic with some supermodel guy I right, right??
Ok, then.

Well, then there is something wrong with this picture.

"The Death Trap" is an old beat up truck with bumper stickers all over it like "SAVE A COW, EAT A VEGAN".
It has the nice feature of the roll bar with the lights,
on the tailgate in cursive in the prettiest blue EV-ER it reads
and instead of being lightning fast like the cute little sports car,
this Death Trap likes to go bloody slow and make people late to work in the mornings.
When on the interstate, diesels are passing "The Death Trap"

because they like to actually go the speed limit at times....
which here in Utah is 65 mph.

There is no need to go BELOW the speed limit, I don't see any mickey mouse tires on this truck...just an fender bender waiting to happen.
Oh, and some major road rage by many Utah passer bys, which we all know happens quite frequent in our great beehive state!

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

This answers my question....somewhat

I guess I'm not a fashionista...but I don't see a problem with it.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Hello Labor Day, Goodbye White Pants??

Not me. As long the sun is shining and the weather is good, those white pants still stay on  my legs. Whoever came up with this anyway? I don't think I have ever followed this. I have had to get rid of white pants in the past because of the slush from the snow getting them dirty. I love white pants. I also wear black pants in the summer. *Gasp* I know. 

It's Bath Time Baby!!

I received these pictures last night and HAD to share... His wide smile melts my heart, his beautiful blue eyes, his long and separated eye lashes. Yes, it's true, I absolutely love this little boy. 


Friday, August 29, 2008

Appendicitis Blues

As I awake Sunday morning to a gut wrenching stomach ache, I thought it was Satan once again telling me "You don't want to go to church today!!" but I carried on with my usual Sunday morning.---After all, my bishop did say he would send my records back to my family ward if I didn't attend my singles ward regularly, that did have somewhat of a burner under my butt. After getting ready, the stomach ache still present, thoughts were going through my head---food poisoning?...nah, no one else from the party was complaining. Too much chocolate fondue and chocolate cake?...maybe! Was I hungry?...possibly, so I decided to eat what I could force down--a piece of bread. Church time came and I rolled on in and chatted with Jilly Babe thinking I was feeling fine until Relief Society came---and it wasn't because it was Relief Society...I was in dying pain, and the last 20 minutes, which was going ever so slowly, felt like 3 hours. I don't think it helped any that the girl giving the lesson didn't know what her lesson was about and had he driest voice ever...Piece of gum???
As soon as I got home, my bed was calling my name...I quickly answered. The rest of that I ate dinner with the fam and slept.. Towards the later evening I kept coming up to my mom telling her that I was NOT feeling well.... She just kept asking where it hurt and what I wanted her to do about it??? NOTE: My mother is not one for much sympathy. I love her to DEATH, but she is the toughest woman in the world and just expects everyone else to be too! :)
Well, around 9:30 pm, I came up to her when the pain was getting unbearable and told her I needed to go to North Orem Instacare, something is up. She told me I might as well go to the ER, because if it's abdominal, the Instacare will send me to the ER.
We were off to the ER.
I was checked in and admitted. The doctor came in and pressed around on my stomach---OUCH! Where he was pressing and the way he was pressing, he said it was my appendix. They started an IV---a student nurse, OH boy. Not only did he stink like a dirty dish rag---yes I'm sick with a sensitive stomach, you need to smell good, but when he drew my blood, and I understand he is a student nurse, but make sure the blood isn't going ALL OVER my arm and blanket. Whew. We finally got that out of the way. I went in for the CT scan, they saw the "gunk" around my appendix, so I was blessed to not have to be given the dye that makes you feel all warm like you're going to pee your I saved that for after anesthesia!
I came back to room 11, that's what I was known as in the ER "11", I had no name. My mom asks me "Do you feel any better?"...Nope, I still had felt like crap, like I had all day long.
The doctor came back with my blood results and said my white count was not high, but there is 20% that have appendicitis that that is the case. He sent the nurse in to give me some morphine to help with the pain. My mom asks the nurse "Is that normal that her white count isn't high?" I swear that the doctor had JUST gone over this... hahaha The nurse told her in some cases, yes, it is. They had called Dr. Mark Fullmer in, the on call dr. that night. He was going to do the surgery. The nurse said that once he comes in, things would happen pretty fast, so to be prepared.
We waited.....They prepped me....We waited....We talked to the nurses in the prepping room....We waited some more....FINALLY.....the nerves were there. All of a sudden, I'm breathing heavy from the oxygen mask and out I go......
I wake up to not being able to breathe. This may sound really gross, but I have all this crap in my throat that I cannot clear. They're telling me to calm down---When you wake up from anesthesia you have no idea what has just happened--let alone not being able to breathe. So, I'm trying to cough and clear my throat, my stomach is hurting from the coughing, they have just taken my catheter out and I feel myself peeing!! The nurse was not friendly about that. ---either that or my saying sorry a million times!
I don't know what my problem was this time at the hospital with student nurses, but as soon as I got into my room, up pops another one! I think even my mom wanted to strangle him. I just wanted to sleep and he just wanted to explain EVERY LITTLE detailed thing and come into my room for EVERYTHING. Plus he gave me a huge bruise on my hip from the demerol.
I measured my incision, it is 3 3/4 inches. It is pretty depressing. I don't know if Dr. Fullmer was in a hurry and did the sloppiest job he could, but it is NOT a pretty job. I don't recommend Surgeon Dr. Mark Fullmer to anyone. Everyone my mom talks to says he needs to retire. My OB Dr. Gregory Gordon---that is another post down the road, he did my C-Section SO neat and straight, double the size of this incision and hardly noticeable. I took a picture, but I'll spare everyone the nightmares hahaha

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Happy Birthday!

Last Saturday, August 23rd, my brother-in-law, Steve wanted to throw my sister a SURPRISE party for her 40th birthday!! But if you know JanaRae, that's a little hard.--Besides the fact they're in the process of closing on their home in Ohio, getting their kids started in school and purchasing a home in Colorado. All in all, I have to say, it worked out pretty darn good and Steve did a great job! It was so fun to get together with all my sisters and my brothers in a relaxed environment. My mom and Kris were asked to "roast" here to read Kris' roast...very well done! :)
Weston and Carolyn brought Madelyn, she was such a good baby!

She even got her first taste of chocolate fondue!! Mmmm Thanks Uncle George!

What a crazy bunch......

We had a great night! After all of JanaRae and Steve's friends left for their hotel in Park City, it was just my brothers and sisters left talking the night away---The Virchow girls are known for that. When any of my sisters are in town, Teressa's husband, Ryan asks her "Are you going up to sit around the table?" We have fun when we're together, what can we say???