Everyone has their ups and their down days. I hate to be a Debbie Downer. I try to be positive, espically because I know that right now my hormones are wacked and my emotions are always up and down. The biggest and hardest thing for me right now is to see pictures of Ryan. I tell myself that he's out of my life that I don't want anything to do with him, but it's like fix.. I want to see what's going on in his life. I don't get in contact with him, there is no way in hell I would want to after what he has done. But I just want to see what he is up to. I look at his brothers myspace page with new posted pictures and everytime I do, I get so down and frustrated to see that he's having the time of his life and probably never thinks about his past. Im good friends with his cousin and he says he doesn't talk of me but knows that Blaine and I talk. I honestly don't know how one can live with oneself. But then I have to look at it on the positive side. The support that I do have from my family, friends and Jared and Amanda. A lot of people walked away from this situation in the beginning but a lot stuck with me and I'm so greatful for those that I do have to hold onto for support. I don't need Ryan, I never did, it's just very over frustrating for me the way he handled things and what harsh things he said.
On a more positive note I got my hair cut! Is that positive?? I think it is.. I was hesitant at first, I've been thinking about it for a couple months now. It's a new fresh look! I was talking to Carrie (who I work with) and she said that the girl that does her hair wouldn't cut her hair while she was pregnant because of the emotional ups and downs. I was thinking about waiting until after I have the baby, but my long hair was full of dead ends and getting so thin towards the ends I decided it was time for a change and a new look :) My hair is the shortest I have ever had it! No more ponytails in the morning when running late! uh-oh! But I love it!
1 comment:
Oh! I want to see pictures!! I love having short hair. It's so easy to do. I think it's very refreshing to do something new with your hair. Can't wait to see it!
Post a Comment