Family BBQ

I have mentioned that I love my Maxers?? When opportunities arise, Jared, Amanda and Max and I try to see each other as often as we can. It was our family dinner out in Lehi at Aly and Nick's and it had been awhile since my family had seen Jared, Amanda and Max so we decided it was time to get together! Max Loved his corn and his unique way of eating it! LOL
I couldn't believe how much this kid loved fruit! I would put the raspberries on his fingers, he thought that was pretty cool.

His dad has taught him well, he loves balls and he sure can throw one!! He carried a ball around all night long.

Max and Talan (he got a little soaked from the neighbors hose, hence the no shirt LOL)


Max's Grandma Virchow, she loves him so much!


You're not official if you don't try on Grandma Virchow's glasses on... which Max loved, they just wouldn't stay on, dang it! It was hilarious how he was letting us though, most kids hate it. LOL


He did not like the trampoline at first.. He would hold onto me for dear life and had this look of concern on his face.. I got snuggles in though!! heehee


Batter up! Max's first time batting, he thought it was pretty cool...moreso the bat than "eye on the ball"... I think Jared is on that though LOL


He warmed up to the trampoline and loved it after awhile!! He was all over it and loved being bounced :)


My little Peanut looks like a little Monkey heehee I love that kiddo.

Oh how I love Jared and Amanda so much!! They have given Max the life he deserves and I am so eternally greatful for them!! Thanks for coming down guys and letting me see the little guy!!

2009 FSA Conference 8/1/09

This years conference (Families Supporting Adoption) was great! Interacting with adoption advocates is always fun, but the best thing is being with Jared, Amanda and Max! Max has grown up so much, it's insane! He is the smiliest, happiest boy and this kid doesn't walk... he RUNS. Making him giggle is the best...he has thee cutest giggle! I love it. I could just eat him up!! It was the best time ever.
I cannot wait to see my Peanut again! I'm sure he will have changed again in that short amount of time. I treasure each moment I get to spend with him and love him so dearly. There is not a day that goes by that I do not think of Max and see his cute smile and bright eyes in pictures or mind. Oh I love that boy.

1 year old?

Time flies. One year ago today this cute little guy was born. Max Milton. I love this boy more than anything in this world. I am so grateful he was able to come down to this mortal existence to bless not only my life, but Jared and Amanda's. I think about Max several times throughout my days as I see pictures or things that remind me of him and think what a wonderful life he is going to have, what a wonderful year it has been--yet a trialing year as well. Not a lot of babies go through what Max has, and he has been such a trooper throughout the NAM and his surgery.

I am so grateful for adoption. For the opportunities to see pictures of Max, to see him and interact with him, to give him loves, hugs and kisses! It is amazing how the Lord has helped me is so many ways. A lot of people have asked me if adoption has been hard. From the time I chose Jared and Amanda to be Max's parents, there was a connection I felt, they were to be his mom and dad. The Lord knew Max was suppose to be their child, my job was to find them. I don't feel sad when I have to leave after seeing Max, I feel so unbelievably happy that I was able to see him.
Throughout this past year, I have had several opportunities to interact with Max in person and a couple times via web cam! He is an amazingly smart boy and very active! I love Amanda's post of what he is up to lately.. definitely a good read about my baber babers :DWhen Max started smiling it was infectious. You couldn't look at him or his pictures and not smile. Amanda taught him well to be a poser for the camera :) I loved how you would put the camera up or even your phone and he would get the biggest grin, like "I'm ready, take my picture!"
He definitely warms my heart.
I never knew I could possibly love somebody as much as I love Max. Although I don't get to see him grow up every single day, he is in my heart every single day. I cannot believe how fast this year has gone, and how quickly he has grown up into the little boy he is. My mother and I had the opportunity to attend his 1st birthday party on Sunday, June 7, 2009 at Amanda's parents house. I will tell you one thing, that boy is ALL BOY! He is one super crawler--going from here to there, back to here then to there. HAHA I love it.
(I will post those pictures in a separate post, I promise ;) )

My Peanut is 1 year old today.HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MAX!
I love you!

Are.You.Ready?

There's a lot that has happened in the life of Ashlee since...oh, December.

I was last telling you how I had read Twilight..
Which by the way,
I am now on Breaking Dawn.
I can tell you, they are very good books, and you can't just read the first one... but I do have to say, this last one, is a little on the weird side...
Sorry Stephanie Meyers.
__________

Aside from Twilight, way back in December,
our family had our yearly family Christmas party!
Not only did we get a visit from Santa...
but Jared, Amanda and Max were able to come down!!
Best Christmas party EV-ER.Max was fascinated with Santa's beard and glasses...
So much that he just wanted to pull them right off!


He is a cheeser for the camera!! It was like a magnet...
He could be crying and you could hold the camera up and he'd smile for it :D
Such a cutie.


My nieces and nephews loved to hold Max...
The boys would throw a ball up in the air and Max thought
that was just the most hilarious thing he ever did see,
he was giggling so hard...too cute!



We couldn't get enough of the smiles on camera...
I think he has thee cutest smile EV-ER!


I don't think you can kiss him enough!!
And by the look on his face... I don't think he minds ;)


That had to be the best Christmas present ever.
__________

Christmas came and went fairly quick!
I had a great Christmas...
It was very low key...
Just me and my mom, then the whole fam later that evening,
with the most snow I think I've ever seen on Christmas Day.
It truly was a White Christmas!
We are very grateful Aly and Nick made it home safely in the blizzard they hit in Lehi, in which they were blessed with a good samariten snow plower to guide them home.
__________

January.
The New Year.. New job.. New President..
I do not work at SISEL International anymore..
My last day was December 29 and I started a new job at Circle Pix on December 30!
I'm happy for this new year and what it has in store...
I have set goals this year that I plan to accomplish!

If you didn't notice...
There is a new president in office.
Hopefully he can bring some CHANGE to what is coming of this economy!
__________

On another note...
January 10, 2009
My sweet, adorable, handsome little Max
was blessed and sealed for time and all eternity to the amazing Jared and Amanda.
This picture is priceless.
They are the cutest family EV-ER!!!
I had the opportunity of a life time to go to Max's blessing with my mom.
The Spirit was amazing.
Max looked like a little angel in all his white.
I was able to meet Jared's wonderful parents who
drove all the way from Ohio.
I was able to meet both Jared and Amanda's extended family,
who are all amazing!
I am so grateful for this opportunity and for having
Jared, Amanda and Max in my life.I love my Peanut.
__________

Happy 5 Months Max!!!

*SIGH* I love him.

What a 5 months it has been! Max has been such a champ

through everything! ...the NAM...his surgery...recovery....

Jared and Amanda have been truly amazing. I am sooo

very grateful for them!

Happy Halloween!!!

THEE cutest polar bear EV-ER.

i heart this boy

Stints No More...

There is not a day that goes by that I do not think about him.

He makes me smile from ear to ear.

He warms my heart.

He is truly the one bright spot in my life.

His beautiful eyes send me into a trance.

He is the miracle in my life that I am eternally grateful for.

He is the love of my life.

He is my Max.

Max had his nasal stints removed yesterday and now officially has nothing on his face but drool!!! YAY!!!

How handsome is this boy??

Oh, boy...

THEE most handsomest, stinkinest, cutest boy EV-ER!!!

*SIGH*

I love him.

----

I was reading Mrs. R's blog yesterday. She spoke of another blog of a mother who asked her daughter what adoption meant to her. I don't want to slaughter a wonderful story, so go here to read it. I recommend you do, it will make your day! Children are amazing.

I know Adoption means Jesus loves ME because he blessed me with Jared and Amanda.

The Story of My Max

I know I am a couple days behind.

On October 5, 2007, I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do. Who to tell. Where to go. This news wasn’t any news a single girl wants to find out. My first thought was—‘How am I going to do this alone?’ I was overwhelmed with thoughts. I told my mom right away. I couldn’t keep it from her, I needed help, and I needed advice. Her advice was adoption. The first thought of adoption, I was scared. We got talking about it and it made more sense financially, the future of the baby, and the importance of having both a mom and a dad

. So, I started on my own looking at profiles on LDS Family Services. That was a bit overwhelming. I had no idea what I was doing. I was only 5 weeks pregnant; I hadn’t contacted LDS Family Services yet. I didn’t know that I was choosing a couple REALLY early in my pregnancy, I thought that was normal.

As I was looking at all the profiles, they all seemed like normal people I would love to place my baby with…Some more than others.

How was I supposed to chose?

I prayed for help. I prayed for comfort. That is when I saw the profile that changed my life. I was curious when I saw ‘Jared and Amanda E54’ (That will make more sense later). It didn’t have blinking and scrolling text. Their pictures weren’t interchanging. It was the only profile with a letter and number next to their name.

I clicked on it.

Their profile was simple and fun to read. Their pictures showed they loved each other very much. They both had steady jobs. I can’t tell you how many times I revisited their profile that day and from there on out.

That next day, October 6, 2007, I sent them an email telling them I was pregnant. I emailed them through the LDS Family Services website and little did I know I just left them my mailing address, not my email address. When I didn’t get a reply in my email, I was thinking they weren’t interested or another birthmother had contacted them already.

I was so eager.

My brother, Kenyon worked with a guy who he and his wife were looking to adopt again. He told me his name, so I looked them up and emailed them…I gave my email out on this one and got an email right back. I had told them that I was pregnant, but wanted a closed adoption. We emailed back and forth for a few days and then I realized how hard that would be for me (at the time) that this guy works with Kenyon and this woman takes her kids into the

pediatrician where Holly works. They would see my baby. I didn’t think I could handle that. Things fell into place and that is when I got a letter in the mail from Jared and Amanda. I couldn’t believe I didn’t give them my email! As soon as I got that letter, I rushed to my computer and quickly emailed them.

Since that letter, we emailed each other about every week. I knew I wanted them to be my baby’s parents. Throughout my pregnancy, I had thoughts that I wanted to keep my baby, but then the thoughts would turn right around and I knew I couldn’t. I made a promise to myself and to Jared and Amanda, that I was having this baby for them. I knew that they had been let down by a birthmother before and I could not do that to them. I wanted to put them on a firm hold, but because I wasn’t far enough along (about 13 weeks) they could only put them on a soft hold. So, for Christmas I gave them a photo album that has a 5x5 slot in the front and put Max’s first ultra sound picture in it and gave that to them and in a card told them I would love for them to be my baby’s parents. They kind of already knew that I had chosen them. ;)

We had our first face to face in the first part of January 2008. They asked me how I decided to choose them out of all the profiles. So, I told them about the ‘Jared and Amanda E54’. It didn’t sound very impressive like the stories some girls have…but it was mine. We didn’t know what the ‘E54’ meant; their casework explained that it is because they are located up in the Farmington Agency. We thought it was interesting and then continued on in conversation. (There IS more significance to the E54…you just gotta keep reading)

At 20 weeks I went in to see the perinatologist. The ultra sound tech was doing the ultra sound checking everything before the doctor came in, taking measurements, etc. That is when she discovered Max had a cleft lip. I was by myself, so I didn’t know how to react. I was afraid, I felt alone, at fault. I called my mom hysterically crying, not knowing what to do. She came over and met me and we talked. My first thoughts when I found this out, I just wanted to take care of my baby. I wanted to hold him, love him, and take care of him. I didn’t how to tell Jared and Amanda about the cleft lip and how they would take it. I called Lauren, my caseworker through LDS Family Services. She then called their caseworker to tell them. I received an email from them the next day telling me that they have felt a sweet spirit throughout my pregnancy and still feel the same sweet spirit.

My next appointment with Lauren (My case worker with LDS Family Services) went really well. After finding out that my baby had a cleft lip, she discovered that the Farmington Agency works the most with clefts and has a lot of resources. Going back to ‘Jared and Amanda E54’.

Maybe my story is pretty amazing after all?

The Lord sometimes works in mysterious ways.

He led me to this wonderful couple.

The Lord had already chosen them to be Max’s parents...I just had to find them.

Max's Surgery

Max had his surgery!! On September 26, 2008, Dr. Siddiqi repaired Max's cleft lip up at Primary Children's Hospital. You can go to Jared and Amanda's blog that goes into a little more detail. :)

I think I see a smile coming on!! He's such a tough boy! Look how good and quick he's healing up!!

A day to remember

Yes. I have slacked off a little bit. Ok, a lot. Where HAS the time gone? Here are the pictures, thee ADORABLE pictures of thee most handsome boy EV-ER.
How do I even begin to describe this day?
Well, first of all, it was long ago on September 14, 2008. We had this planned for weeks for Jared, Amanda and Max to come down for Sunday dinner before Max had his surgery (Another post, coming soon to a blog near you ;) ). I was counting down, anticipating that night, super excited. It was a great night. It was a fabulous night. It was an uh-mazing night. Jared and Amanda came to my house first and then we drove to Teressa's for dinner. We sat in my living room for a minute to hold Max and have him to ourselves. I could not believe how much he had grown in the month that I saw him last. He was full of smiles and giggles.
I have never seen a happier baby!
Especially at that age, giggly and smiley as he is---it is way too cute!

I loved holding him. I loved feeding him. I loved kissing him. I loved watching him sleep. I loved looking at him and staring into his beautiful blue eyes.
I did share.....after awhile.

The babes, 3 months apart. She kept wanting to grab him, he just wanted to suck his fist.

This is what happens when you enter the Virchow's, baby boys get dressed up as girls. By the look on his face, I don't think he appreciated it much---neither did Jared. hee hee
When Drake was a baby, he was such a beautiful baby, Emily put a dress and headband on him and he looked just like a little girl! Sorry boys, that's what you get for being so beautiful.

He doesn't like to be held like if you can tell. When he's laying on the ground, he'll literally lift his head up off the ground...
talk about a strong boy!

I love him! He's such a cutie patootie!

I really love this picture.

Yeah, I know, my mom can't keep her eyes open in ANY picture...
it's still a cute picture.

Aww, they're so cute. I love them.

This was the funniest part of the night. Amanda layed Max down to change his diaper. When she was finished, me, Teressa and Aly went over and started playing with him. Emily was taking pictures of the whole event. Holy cow. Teressa had him giggling so hard, my cheeks hurt so bad afterwards from laughing and smiling!

Aly and Teressa...They shared sometimes too.

Hadley Mae and Max

Willow and Max. She was at girls came when he was born, so this was her first time seeing him--and her birthday!

I love this picture, it's so precious!!

Saying our goodbyes. Talan gave good kisses...
he was about to eat Max.

That was a great night. I am so grateful to have Jared and Amanda in my life. I have tried to explain it to them, and I don't know if it made sense at all to them, but I'll try to say it now. I am so grateful to be a member of The Church and know the truth. The Lord has truly blessed me and lifted the weight off my shoulders. The Lord has helped me so that when I see him, it's not hard, when I have to say goodbye, it's not hard. My love for Max is truly unconditional and he holds a special place in my heart and always will. I am so grateful that I have chosen an open adoption. When I was going through the adoption process, I was very hesitant on the openess. Now, I wouldn't have it any other way. Max is the best thing that has happen to me and I'm so very grateful he is with Jared and Amanda.